Its All Boob To Me

As a culture, we have lots of names for them. Some cultures have names for snow, we have names for breasts. Some names are clinical like breast tissue, mammary glands, milk ducts.  Some are not, like twins, girls, jugs, knockers, and a whole host of other names that (to me anyway) are actually kind of offensive and not worth printing.  Then there are the euphemisms for what breasts can do like nursing and breastfeeding.  Around our house though there's just one word to cover the gamut.  Boob(s).  For us boob is a noun, a verb and an adjective.  For my sons, boob is and was a way of life.   I even wrote a song about it; just three words to the tune of frere jacques. More on that later.

I don't know how my husband and I got started talking in terms of boob, except that it happened after the kids were born.  I've been nursing off and on for about 2 of the last 4 years.  So its been a pretty hot topic.  The conversation, that is.  My boobs, not so much. They are draught horses now and not the perky arabians I once had 

Our talk of boob is so frequent we've created new words and uses of words for it.  I am sure the Oxford dictionary people will be interested in this.

VERB: To boob.  Usage:  "Are you going to boob him, or do you want me to make up a bottle?" 

NOUN: The boob.  Usage:  "He's been crying for 2 hours, can you just give him some boob so we can go to sleep!"

ADJECTIVES & OTHER NONSENSE:

Boobhounds:   Sons 1 & 2 and their relentless pursuit of all things boob.

Boobalicious/Boobtastic: Smiley, drowsy (dare I say, stoney) look on baby faces when reunited with boob after prolonged absence

Boobspace: Invisible boundary/forcefield around the baby that may not be violated while the baby is boobing.  Pass at your own risk; the baby has a mean right hook.

Boob O'Clock:

Breakfast boob

Snack boob

Happy-hour boob (4-6pm, free drinks, half price hors d'ouvres)

Sleep boob

Check-in boob (boobing for 1 minute or less, as though the baby wants to make sure boobs are still there.  Also known as a tit-stop even though I hate that word)

Boob Smile: Baby grin with a mouth full of milk and nipple. 

Milk bong: Common in infants when latching onto over full boob.  Can cause temporary choking and gagging, but ultimately results in a boob smile when they realize their good fortune and go with the flow.  Also occurs with bottles that use high flow nipples.  

Boob stand: related to milk bong.  Occurs when babies discover they can do other things while nursing, like get on all fours, stick their little bottoms in the air, or both. 

Boob hug: Falling asleep with arm thrown over beloved boob. 

TBKO: Total boob knock out.  Occurs when babies pass out asleep while nursing.  Also known as a milk coma.

And of course, boob has its own aforementioned theme song:

Boob And Nap (a lullaby to the tune of Frere Jacques)

Boob and nap and boob and nap and

Nap and boob, nap and boob.

Boob and nap and nap and boob

Boob and nap and nap and boob

Nap and boob. Nap and boob.

Clearly things have gotten way out of hand at our house. But what else are you going to do while nursing in the middle of the night?  Its either mentally redecorate the room you are sitting in for the one millionth time, or come up with a new word for the super cute things babies do while they're eating.     All of it is in good fun and celebration of the almighty boob and everything that she does.